Catching Up on Growing Up

Naga City, January 2019 (Mt. Isarog is shy)

I finally opened my Blogspot account to create a new post. It's been a weird and tiring week for me and I know, today, as these thoughts came to my mind, I need to write it down and share it with you guys.


I honestly don't know the people who read my blogs. I just know that well, my mom, boyfriend, and some friends read it. But they are just a handful and usually, my blog posts get 20 readers and up every time I upload, so hello to those 20 people and up :)

I decided to write here again because this has been a stressful week for me and the only way I know how I can release this tension in my body is through writing. For today's blog, I want to talk about growing up and facing the fact that life will never be the same every single day.

Just a few days ago, I met up with my best friends for just an hour. We have set this meeting spontaneously and thank goodness everyone agreed with the date and time. Looking at my two best friends, I suddenly missed my college life. The constant hanging out till the wee hours of the morning. Those random adventures where we just go pretty much anywhere and everywhere we want to go or where the money in our pockets will take us. All those fun moments when we were young, wild, and free. One of my best friends told me that I look good in my hair and weight during our college days. To be honest, I missed how I look during those days. I miss the happy-go-lucky me who just do whatever she wants and not care about the world around her. I miss being able to eat and drink anything that I want without my body screaming at me to stop. I miss running, biking, swimming, and going to the gym. Oh darn, I just realized how active I was before. Mostly, I miss my passion. Art has always been my passion. Creating something-- anything is my passion.

This year, I stopped journaling. The only constant thing that I'm doing right now is updating my very battered planner which I cannot live without. I haven't created any art this year. I just bought a bunch of washi tapes and stickers just to add to my collection. The closest thing I created this year is the unfinished painting in my bedroom and some really really rough sketches that I made while waiting for my food at Chowking while on our way back from my immersion in Naga City. But I took a lot of photos this year. Raw photos that hopefully I can get around to printing.

I haven't posted a lot this year too. No selfies or #OOTDs except for a few ones when I feel cute or less shy. I don't know what happened to me but I just know that I miss a lot of stuff yet, I have no plans on going back to those things that I missed. Maybe I'll pick up a few things from the past like my passion for arts. I'm still passionate about writing though so obviously, I am growing with that too. But those parties that I attended, those late-night road trips that we took and reckless adventures that we experienced? Nah. I probably have a few road trips in the future but nothing like those of my college days. One of the notable things that I have left behind, however, is being flirty and playing around with boys. Well, I don't wanna play around with BOYS anymore because I know I deserve a MAN now but you get it. At this point in life, I should start thinking long term about my future and quit playing around with people's feelings. Thank goodness, I stopped dating other guys a few years ago when I met my baebae. At least, for now, I know that I am in a stable relationship with him so I don't really have to deal with dating and getting to know people again. It seems hard.

Another notable difference that I saw this year that made me realize that I am growing is now, I get to know myself more. I am more disciplined with my work (Except for dealing with budgeting and my money), and I take conscious effort to remove the toxic people in my life. I also stopped fooling around with what I do with my time since, for me, time is essential and PRICEY. I want to spend my time and energy on things that matter to me and will give me maximum productivity. I don't wanna hang out with people who I know won't help me grow.

It's been a fulfilling year. But to be honest, it's been hard too. I've been catching up on growing up, and although I know that I won't look back anymore especially on the past mistakes that I made, I learned a lot throughout the years and I will carry all those lessons with me in my journey. When you grow up, you look forward, not backward. Yes, you do miss your old self but your old self won't help you move forward if you keep doing what you have already done before. Take your passions with you, leave all those things that didn't help you grow like cheating, drinking, partying, or whatever you're doing that is not healthy and just take the lessons from every mistake that you made. Keep moving forward. Time is gold. Enjoy your journey. There's a whole lot of NEW experiences that you can make while growing up. It may be hard today but you will survive. One day, you will look back and laugh at yourself now.

All that matters is that you are growing up. It may not be as fast as other people's pace but at least, you are moving and not stuck behind.

Let's grow together.

It's 5:02am now. I'm just happy to share my thoughts on this blog again. It's like speaking to everyone and myself too.

PS: I'm planning something this December but I have to think this through first before announcing it 😀 Also, I have a story to tell about what happened to me this week but that's for another blog.

See you again next time ❤

Love,
KAT