Taking a break to breathe and write again...

Wow, how do I start writing for myself again? It seems like I forgot how to put my words into paper... or in this case my blog. This blog has been my home, my safe sanctuary for a few years now. I was in college when I first started this and although I've never been consistent in updating my blog, I always love the feeling of having something that I call my own.


Life has been quite messy for everyone these past couple of months. Heck, who would have thought that 2020 will be such a whirlwind year for people around the world, especially in our country? From the Taal Volcano Eruption to the numerous earthquakes that we have experienced, and now this pandemic. We don't know what the future holds right?

For me, the first six months of this year has been a roller coaster ride too, just like the years before. Every year is a new year for me and to be honest, no matter how challenging life has become for me, I always look back with a smile on my face because it only means that I've survived another year and gained a lot of life lessons.  I've never been someone who takes the easy route. The closest people around me know that. I can just simply live at our family home comfortably, find a job that will pay me more than what I need per month, and get everything I want in a snap of my finger. But what's the fun in that? Imagine sitting in a desk, getting paid too much without lifting a finger... or learning anything new. That honestly sucks. So, safely, I can call myself a risktaker. An adventurer. A wanderer. True to my "Wandering Panda" brand, I always love wandering to the unknown. I don't know what the future holds, but just like the past challenges that I survived, I'm still surviving as much as I can and learning tons along the way.

Speaking of learning, these past months, I've been trying to upskill my... well-- skills. Just a few weeks ago, I started this Professional Instagram Photography class which was given to me by my boss. I've always been insecure about my photography skills but the lessons really helped me to learn more and I've been practicing every weekend since then. I'm still not that of an expert and to be honest, I'm still figuring things out when it comes to this but hey, progress is progress no matter how small it is.

Up next is my illustration/digital art/graphic design, whatever people call those lessons. For this, I'm just trying to look into Youtube on whatever trick I need to execute what's inside my head. Boy, oh boy, it takes a lot of time to figure things out but I'm happy to learn the basics and learn more along the way. I was supposed to take these Adobe lessons that my other boss sent me but it did not teach me about the technicals. It's more of finding inspirations and conceptualizing so I'm still looking for more classes that I can try online.

Aside from the new things that I am learning, I also started to chill the F out when it comes to working. Last March, April, and May, I suffered a horrible work burnout. I got stressed so much with the influx of work that I partake and found myself doubting whether I'm doing enough work or minimal work so to satisfy my doubts, I started working from 9 am till 12 mn and the quality of my work simply blown out of my face and everything, including my mental health, suffered. I found myself crying in the middle of the day dealing with annoying clients and multiple tasks at hand trying to finish everything in one day. It was not healthy so this month, I made sure to breathe and stop working the moment I completed my 8 hours of work per day. Of course, in most cases, that doesn't happen because there are times when I really need to finish something or I still have other work tasks at hand but life is a little much better now than before.

After I'm done with all my tasks, that's when my self-care starts. I usually just cook a good meal for myself, watch my favorite Youtubers... and watch at least 1 movie per night. I've been doing my movie nights consistently this month, and yup, for the first half of the year, I've already watched more than a hundred movies in different genres. Watching movies is also a learning experience for me. It gives me an idea of what the world could possibly be. I'm also a Communication Arts student before so imagine how much my movie critique skills have improved from the technical aspects to the main storyline of all those movies I've watched, I have my own standards by now. I also learn a lot about editing and color grading when watching those movies so it's a win-win. Your girl just never stops learning!

Lastly, I've started exercising every day at night. Okay, disclaimer, it is nothing hard or intense. Just enough to keep me sweating every day. And it helped a lot to boost my mental and physical health. I'm not sure if I am losing weight or what but it improved my discipline and stamina big time. There are a lot of times when I don't wanna do it and it is fine. No one is forcing me to punish myself. But for me, whenever I feel lazy or sleepy, it's another challenge to keep going so I keep going anyway!

I've also been going out ONLY to do essential activities like paying my bills (those that don't have online channels) and going to the grocery myself but other than that, I go home immediately. Life outside is quite depressing especially seeing how the so-called new normal is not actually normal but more of new "reality". During those few times that I was out, I badly missed going around the mall without thinking if the people I'm bumping to have a virus or simply walking out without having to remember that I need to get my mask. It's hard emotionally to process this new situation but let's just do our part in making our country's situation better.

So far, although life is generally hard for everyone, I am happy that I'm making the most out of this situation. I'm not saying that we should all be productive and be busy or be all over the place... but at least, let's come out of this pandemic as a better person.

I also want to take this opportunity to be held accountable when it comes to updating my blog. I want to consistently write again at least twice a month so let's see if I can do it for the rest of the year.

I hope you had a fun time reading my life update. Till the next one!

PS: I also do journaling a lot (using Hobonichi) during my downtime soooo maybe I can create some content out of it for my vlog. Would that be interesting though? Help your girl out!